Dear John, I see it all now that you’re gone.
Don’t ever watch the movie Dear John when you are miles away from the man you love. It is such a heart breaker. I miss Jake, and this is not the type of movie that makes me feel any better about not being near him. It’s such a sad, terrible story that happens to have it’s moments of life and love at their finest mixed in between the pain and sorrow. I just hate that it doesn’t have a happy ending. That’s the worst part about it. They put their hearts all into it until they just can’t anymore. And that’s where it ends. Just like that. It’s too close to reality. You never know what can happen in this life, and it’s the unknown that I fear. I love Jake, but what if the distance and his experiences change how he feels for me? It’s a possibility that I am not ready to accept.
I love when he writes though. It’s the best feeling in the world. The giddy excitement bubbles up inside me and the butterflies are crazy in my stomach. I get a smile on my face that I can’t remove and my heart race climbs. Just from that silly little piece of paper. But he put his heart into that silly little piece of paper and sent it back to me. That’s what keeps me going.
I hope that he feels that way about the letters that I send to him. I hope that he is as nervous and excited and relieved all at the same time as I am. I think most people think that I’m crazy and that I’m spending too much time spinning in circles for someone who isn’t around at the moment. I know that there are some who think that I’m not living to the best of my ability because I’m so hung up on Jacob Noel. But all I have to say to that is that I’ve never been more sure that I have met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with. I miss him. And the truth is, when he went to California, he took my heart with him.
I can only hope that he feels the same. Dear Jake, I miss you.
